Sunday, 9 July 2017

March of the Idiots: Beards of Phwoar!

Hi, I'm Paul, and welcome to The Asylum. Today I bring you the latest in our March of the Idiots series, in which I detail Asylum Wargaming's misadventures in many and varied tournaments.

I had the pleasure of competing at Beers of War: the Second Draught over the weekend. A Kings of War tournament that mixes organised play with alcohol consumption, this is the second Beers of War event, and one I have been looking forward to for some time.

Why was I looking forward to it so much? Because I thoroughly enjoyed the first event in February, that's why. Asylum Wargaming's Steve JohnSnow and I entered under the team name Kings of Phwoar!, and we didn't win a single thing other than the Wooden Spoon (you can read all about it here). But it didn't matter; we had a great time playing a cool wargame with sporting opponents who were drinking beer; what's not to like?

Unlike the first Beers of War, however, I wasn't teaming up Steve JohnSnow, as the angry hobbit was suffering with a migraine. Instead I found myself partnered with seasoned Kings of War player Steve Wallace. As Steve is, like me, blessed with a magnificent ginger beard, we altered our team's name to Beards of Phwoar!. Steve fielded Abyssal Dwarves, and I took to the field with the same trusty Undead who served me so well at the first Beers of War...

Steve and I in the process of losing to the prosaically named  BOLLoCKS

...Three matches later and we were dead last with no wins, having lost in turn to the Grim Squeekers (Tom Robinson's Salamanders and Ian Davies' Ratkin), BOLLoCKS (Kevin Haney's Basileans and Chris Cowburn's Ogres)* and newbies Eastern Bloc (Rob Czechwyn's League of Rhordia and Josef Makosz's Goblins).**

But who cares? Well, maybe Steve, but certainly not me. As with the first event I had a great time and met some cool people. Not only that, but organisers Lee and Luke Fellows made sure we were all well fed with a free and decent lunch. So, I ask you once again ... what's not to like?

Another aspect of Beers of War I really enjoy is the Arbitrary Army Award, in which the competitors vote for the tournament's best painted army. For some reason my motley assortment of incomplete and only partially painted Undead failed to win a single vote (outrageous! I demand a recount!), but Kev Haney's third-placed Basilians, Chris Cowburn's second-placed Ogres and Ben Casey's winning Herd army richly deserved each and every vote. I salute them.

Ben Casey's Herd
Chris Cowburn's Ogres
Kev Haney's Basileans

In conclusion, the Fellows brothers can be very proud of their event. They've put together a great little tournament with a cool theme. It's relaxed and played in a friendly manner by players who want to enjoy both the game and a few beers, and aren't interested in being power players or rules munchkins. It's a challenge for experienced players, and welcoming to new ones. Hell, they're even tolerant to borderline mentards like yours truly.

So if you're in Yorkshire and you like Kings of War and/or beer, you could do a lot worse than contending any future Beers of War events. Needless to say, I'll be there, and I presume I'll be partnered with someone called Steve...

...And who knows; maybe we'll finally win a match?

Beers of War: the Second Draught was held at the Westgate Common Club, Wakefield, and was won by the National Elf Service (Chris Prince's Elves and Richard Tomlinson's Brotherhood), with the Cult Armies of Bacchus (Mat Green's Romans and Ben Casey's Herd) and the Scottish Renegades (Andy Meechan and Craig Alexander's Undead) taking second and third respectively. If you're interested in attending the next Beers of War event, then keep an eye on the Facebook page for details...

...I'll see you there.

*Who won despite team members Kev Haney and Chris Cowburn knocking it back like George Best...

**...Who also won despite being so new to the game they might as well have been reading the rulebook for the first time.

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